Saturday, 30 January 2016

Oh, brother (part 77) by Grant Harbison

Deplorium introduced Blaine to Truman and Borium
“Hello Brothers,” greeted Blaine. “I never thought I’d see you two again.”
“Blaine, ye actually ken this pair?” asked Deplorium. “Well, greet the man, ya rude buggers. Don’t jist stare.”
“Blaine, what are you doing here?” asked Borium with a look of surprise and a voice emanating fear.”
“To visit the greatest arm wrestler of all. The other reason I can’t recall.”
“Well, it’s truly wonderful to see you again,” lied Truman. “Tell me, how goes it with Mistress Paine?”
Sorrow beset Blaine at the mention of her name. “A crime was committed and they said she was to blame. I can’t help but thinkin’ she is why I came. Ye have to forgive my memory; it’s not quite the same.”
“Well, ah’m sure it will prevail,” said Deplorium. “What would ye say tae a bucket o’ ale?”
“I’d say a bucket o’ water instead. Lately strong drink  plays with my head.”
“What’s the matter wi’ you? Ye’re no the sort tae turn doon a brew.”
“If that’s what he wants, let him be,” said Borium. “He’s right when he says it doesn’t agree.”
“Then ye can get it yersel’,” Deplorium said to Blaine. “Ootside there’s a bucket ye can lower intae the well.”
“Does he seem tae you a wee bit strange?” Deplorium asked Truman and Borium when he left. “Ah havnae seen him for a while, but there’s a definite change.”
“I think he’s been sent to force our return,” replied Truman. “For the crime we committed, they want us to burn.”
“But why?” asked Deplorium as he dished out the pie.
“It’s obvious from what he’s said that his woman has been incarcerated,” replied Borium. “That has left him helpless and very frustrated.”
“The loss of memory is what he wants us to think,” said Truman. “But tonight I’ll certainly not sleep a wink.”
“Well, if that’s the case, she’ll never be free,” said Deplorium. “Because tae get tae you, he’ll have tae go through me.”
“Hush,” whispered Borium. “He’s on his way back. Be prepared for any sudden attack.”
“Welcome back, Blaine. Come an’ have a seat,” said Deplorium. “ Ah hope ye enjoy what ah’ve made us tae eat.”
After they’d eaten
Deplorium began to yawn
“Ah’m gonnae sleep till way past dawn.”
“Go and rest yer weary head,” said Blaine. “And thanks for the meal. It’s been a while since I’ve been decently fed. I think I’ll go and take a wee walk. Borium, Truman, would ye like to join me. Let me show you a horse that can talk.”
“Brother Blaine, do you think that we are so naïve?” asked Truman. “What kind of trickery have you got up your sleeve?”
“I promise ye it’s true. I have no reason to lie to you.”
“But it’s totally absurd,” responded Borium. “But just to please you, Truman and I will take your word.”

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