Sunday, 24 January 2016

Oh, brother (part 75) by Grant Harbison

“Did ah dae okay?” asked Beryl when the ball showed Blaine and Bess continuing on their way.
“Yes,” cackled Jess. “I think the monk be wary of Bess.”
“No, I said to take it slow!” cried Shear extremely riled. “We’re just lucky the man has a mind like a child.”
“Why are you so irked?” asked Beryl. “All that matters is that it worked.”
“Because very soon he will be arriving at his destination and certain things need preparation. I won’t have him acting like a fool. That’s not the way to use our tool.”
“What about ale?” asked Ilirium. “If he partakes in that then all will fail.”
“What do you mean?”
“It only takes two sips to pass his lips and he becomes the maddest man that you’ve ever seen.”
“And you never thought to let me know? I’m trying to help you defeat your foe!”
“Calm down,  my dear Shear,” said Jess. “I never be seeing you with so much aggravation.”
“Perhaps if I had some cooperation then there wouldn’t be cause for irritation. Just as well all is going to plan with the female lovers and the rejected man. Now, if you’ll excuse me I think it’s time I napped. I can’t concentrate anymore as I’m truly sapped.”
“Rest well, Shear,” said Beryl. “Ah promise ah’ll no dae anythin’ silly. Dinnae fear.”
“I’ve never seen her act like this before,” said Jess when Shear lay down and began to snore.
“Well, we cannae always be meek an’ mild. Especially when one is carryin’ child.”
“I never was detectin’ that she be expectin’.”
“Jess, ah thought ye knew. Ye can hear her every mornin’ when she gets up tae spew. And she’s no jist carryin’ one, she’s carryin’ two.”
“But that can’t be right. Shear de Lite be a hermaphrodite. She has female bits and a man thing that can rise, but I’d never be thinkin’ that it’d be possible to fertilise.”
“Ladies, we have little time to spare,” said Ilirium. “Wake up Shear and tell her that Blaine is almost there.” 

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