Tuesday 30 August 2016

Oh, sister 42. (Memoirs of Nancy Trollop ix)


Oh, Robert’s face when ‘e saw me
It ‘ad looked like ‘e was ragin’ with jealousy
And I just loved Lord Montgomery’s supremacy
The way ‘e commanded me
To go and get Jeeves for a romp for three
That’s when Robert stormed out of the ‘ouse
The louse
Back to ‘is pet
Yvette
She might ‘ave ‘ad what I wanted to get
But I ‘eard Montgomery threaten to bring ‘er more shame
Robert only ‘ad ‘imself to blame
I anticipated ‘er pain
With the ‘ope that it would drive Robert insane
So I used me feminine powers of persuasion
Mentionin’ to ‘is Lordship about the seriousness of the situation
And told ‘im that for Robert’s insolence
There ‘ad to be consequence
That appealed to ‘is twisted mind
And ‘e said, “You are right, little whore. What do you have in mind?”
“Well, we both know where ‘e is weak,” I replied. “Maybe you should use ‘er if it’s vengeance that you seek.”
“And what would you have me do?” ‘e asked me. “It seems to me that you’ll derive pleasure from that too.”
“Robert was mine, you see,” I said. “She’s the one that took ‘im from me.”
I sensed some aggression
But ‘e softened and asked, “Why should I indulge your obsession?”
“Because I’m willin’ to do anythin’ you ask me to,” I whispered seductively. “Be your slave and do anythin’ for you.”
“Yes, I would like obedience and allegiance,” he said and commanded me to bend.
I winced as I felt ‘im penetrate me and pound my rear end
“I have a meeting at midnight,” he told me when ‘e came to the end. “I insist that you attend.”
I was led to a secret room later that night
It was so bloody creepy that I was shiverin’ with fright
And when I saw figures dressed in robes appear
Well, that just further exacerbated my fear
My ‘eart pounded
When me eyes adjusted to the dimness and I realised that I was surrounded
“Whore, do not falter!” Lord Montgomery shouted at me. “Remove your clothing and go to the alter!”
Tremblin’ in terror, I screamed, “I don’t understand!”
“Silence!” Montgomery shouted. “Obey my command!”
Just as I finished removin’ me gown
I was carried to the alter and forced to lie down
Four of them ‘eld me and I screamed for me life
When I saw ‘is Lordship ‘oldin’ a knife
“Will you renounce the light and darkness embrace?” Montgomery asked me and flashed the knife in front of my face.
I didn’t quite understand
But I knew that I ‘ad to agree to ‘is demand
Because if I didn’t I’d surely be dead
“Yes!” I cried and nodded me ‘ead.
“Then do what I tell you without hesitation,” he said. “Get down on the floor and prepare for initiation.”
Immediately I got down on me knees
For everyone present to do as they please

Wednesday 3 August 2016

Oh, sister 41. (Memoirs of Robert Brown ix)


It was Yvette that broke the news tae me
Aboot Montgomery and Sally McGhee
He even insisted that she had an affair wi’ me
The story spread quickly through London’s high society
Causin’ poor Yvette much anxiety
Because gossipin’ in their world often lingers
Accompanied wi’ sneers an’ pointed fingers
There was nae point in tryin’ tae deny the accusation
It would have jist provoked more aggravation
Most never knew him for the deviant he was
And his close knit friends seemed tae relish his cause
It wis rumoured that once he’d had tea wi’ the Queen
So naebody wid believe that the man could be obscene
The only thing ah could dae wis take it oan the chin
This wee skirmish ah’d never win
Ah decided a wee visit widnae dae any harm
But the idea caused Yvette much alarm
“Robert, what good could it possible do?” she cried. “You’re not going to get an apology from Hugh.”
“The man’s got a cheek,” ah said. “If ah don’t go see him it’ll look like ah’m weak.”
“Oh, that foolish male pride!” she moaned. “No one will think that you’re trying to hide. Some things in life we have to ignore.”
Ah didnae agree and walked oot the door
On arrival at Montgomery’s the butler let me in
I wis led tae the drawin’ room an’ offered some gin
Ah shook ma head
An’ told him tae pour me a whisky instead
It wis a while before Montgomery came through
“Hello, Robert,” he greeted. “What can I do for you?”
He seemed pleased to see me an’ stuck oot his hand
Ah refused it an’ said, “Ah’m sure ye understand.”
“Oh, come now, Robert. Don’t be sore,” he said. “I had to think of something as she was beginning to bore.”
“Well, yer private life is yer own, so stay oot o’ mine,” ah said tae him. “Stick tae that an’ we’ll baith be fine.”
“Dear chap, do I take that as a threat?” he asked. “That would be something you’ll deeply regret.”
“Well, ye’ll find that ah give as good as ah get,” ah told him. “Jist stay away fae me an’ Yvette.”
His facial expression turned to a sneer. “She is such a dear. Does she know that you are here?”
“Naw, she disnae,” ah lied. “The poor wee lassie is petrified.”
"Then for her sake walk out the door,” he snarled. “I may still require her services like that of a whore.”
“Never again will ye go that far!” ah yelled. “Wan o’ these days ye’ll be exposed for the coward ye are!”
Jist then Nancy came through
And said to Montgomery, “I do ‘ope ‘e ain’t insultin’ you.”
“There’s nothing to worry about, my pretty little one,” he said. “Go and get Jeeves and let’s have a little fun.”
In anger ah headed for the door
There wis a time ah fancied that Cockney wee whore
But no more
But it added tae ma frustration
How easily he won people by intimidation
Ah wis determined tae make that cease
And ah wis helped by a wee visit fae Nerys
Givin’ me the truth aboot Nancy
Her thievery and who she really did fancy