Wednesday, 3 August 2016

Oh, sister 41. (Memoirs of Robert Brown ix)

It was Yvette that broke the news tae me
Aboot Montgomery and Sally McGhee
He even insisted that she had an affair wi’ me
The story spread quickly through London’s high society
Causin’ poor Yvette much anxiety
Because gossipin’ in their world often lingers
Accompanied wi’ sneers an’ pointed fingers
There was nae point in tryin’ tae deny the accusation
It would have jist provoked more aggravation
Most never knew him for the deviant he was
And his close knit friends seemed tae relish his cause
It wis rumoured that once he’d had tea wi’ the Queen
So naebody wid believe that the man could be obscene
The only thing ah could dae wis take it oan the chin
This wee skirmish ah’d never win
Ah decided a wee visit widnae dae any harm
But the idea caused Yvette much alarm
“Robert, what good could it possible do?” she cried. “You’re not going to get an apology from Hugh.”
“The man’s got a cheek,” ah said. “If ah don’t go see him it’ll look like ah’m weak.”
“Oh, that foolish male pride!” she moaned. “No one will think that you’re trying to hide. Some things in life we have to ignore.”
Ah didnae agree and walked oot the door
On arrival at Montgomery’s the butler let me in
I wis led tae the drawin’ room an’ offered some gin
Ah shook ma head
An’ told him tae pour me a whisky instead
It wis a while before Montgomery came through
“Hello, Robert,” he greeted. “What can I do for you?”
He seemed pleased to see me an’ stuck oot his hand
Ah refused it an’ said, “Ah’m sure ye understand.”
“Oh, come now, Robert. Don’t be sore,” he said. “I had to think of something as she was beginning to bore.”
“Well, yer private life is yer own, so stay oot o’ mine,” ah said tae him. “Stick tae that an’ we’ll baith be fine.”
“Dear chap, do I take that as a threat?” he asked. “That would be something you’ll deeply regret.”
“Well, ye’ll find that ah give as good as ah get,” ah told him. “Jist stay away fae me an’ Yvette.”
His facial expression turned to a sneer. “She is such a dear. Does she know that you are here?”
“Naw, she disnae,” ah lied. “The poor wee lassie is petrified.”
"Then for her sake walk out the door,” he snarled. “I may still require her services like that of a whore.”
“Never again will ye go that far!” ah yelled. “Wan o’ these days ye’ll be exposed for the coward ye are!”
Jist then Nancy came through
And said to Montgomery, “I do ‘ope ‘e ain’t insultin’ you.”
“There’s nothing to worry about, my pretty little one,” he said. “Go and get Jeeves and let’s have a little fun.”
In anger ah headed for the door
There wis a time ah fancied that Cockney wee whore
But no more
But it added tae ma frustration
How easily he won people by intimidation
Ah wis determined tae make that cease
And ah wis helped by a wee visit fae Nerys
Givin’ me the truth aboot Nancy
Her thievery and who she really did fancy

No comments:

Post a Comment