Tuesday, 5 January 2016

Oh, brother (part 66) by Grant Harbison

“Thank ye for yer kind hospitality, Allure,” said Blaine. “For the gift o’ the horse too. Are ye sure?”
“Of course ah am, Blaine. Dinnae worry, Bess will get ye there in a hurry. Go an’ get the monks an’ rescue Paine. Let her once again be in the arms o’ her dashin’ young swain.”
“There’s just one thing I’d like to know. I’ve never been on a horse. How do ye make it go?”
“Jist talk an’ she’ll walk.”
“She’ll understand?”
“Every command.”
“Well, I never…That’s very clever.”
“It’s time ye were oan yer way. Ah wish ye luck an’ ah’ll pray each day. Bess will let ye know when she is in need; when she needs water an’ when she needs feed.”
Blaine got on the horse and said goodbye
Allure blew him a kiss and let out a sigh
“Let’s go, my beautiful mare,” he said to Bess. “Just a wee trot to start with and then I’ll see if I dare.”
Bess began to neigh and moments later they were on their way
“I can understand the whinny,” said Blaine. “I bet ye wish that I was someone skinny.”
Bess neighed again
“I think ye do understand what I’m sayin’,” chuckled Blaine.
They travelled for a while until Blaine began to thirst
It was not the worst
But he had the horse to think of and she had to come first
“Bess, I think we’ll take a turn. On our right I see a wee burn. I’ll fill up my urn and you can have a drink. What do ye think?”
“Ah think that’s a bloody good idea, Blaine,” replied Bess. “Ah’m parched fae aw that strain.”
Blaine dismounted in alarm. “Please don’t do me any harm!”
But no more words came from the mare
She just gave Blaine a curious stare
Blaine stood back in absolute fear. “It’s the heebie-jeebies that’s makin’ me hear,” he stammered. “My old friend Drew had a problem wi’ the brew. He said that he saw a green man and swore it was true. Then there was Grant. He once spoke to a pink monster wi’ the name o’ Ellie Fant. Now I’m gettin’ weak, for I’m almost sure I heard the horse speak.”
Tentatively he walked back to the mare
Still she gave him an inquisitive stare
He reached out and gave her a stroke. “Sorry about that, fine creature. I think my mind was playin’ a joke.”
 “A pink monster called Ellie Fant,” scoffed Bess. “Bit o’ a nutter is he, this lad called Grant? Still, ah like the image he painted.”
That was the moment that Brother Blaine fainted     

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