Friday, 1 January 2016

Oh, brother (part 64) by Grant Harbison

“Wake up, ya lazy wee pair!” Deplorium yelled to Truman and Borium. “The smell of menace is in the air!”
Truman and Borium were immediately out of their beds
“We have to leave at once!” cried Borium. “When MacBlach and his men come they’ll have our heads!”
“It’s got nothin’ tae dae wi’ the laird or the loot,” said Deplorium. “The threat o’ another spell is what ah’m oan aboot.”
“But how do you know?” asked Truman. “You need to teach us how to suppress our foe.”
“Yes, Deplorium,” said Borium. “Teach us all that you know. Enlighten us and allow our power to grow.”
“Ah will teach ye the way, but for now jist listen tae what ah’ve got tae say. There’s a brew ah make usin’ a certain weed, an’ this mornin’ the visions were very strange indeed. The foe has become four an’ it’s jist a matter o’ time before their power begins tae soar. Ah’m worried aboot the one that’s both man an’ woman.”
“But how can someone be both man and woman?” asked Truman.
“Exactly,” replied Deplorium. “Such a creature cannae be human.”
“Then you have to do everything in your power to expel!” cried Borium in terror. “For surely it’s a creature from Hell!”
“Ah’ve heard men talk aboot ladies fae Hades. Ah thought it wis aw lies, but noo ah’ve seen it wi ma ain two eyes.”
“Is there anything in the dell that you could use to repel?” asked Borium. “A new creation that would deter this abomination.”
“Ah’ve never dealt wi anythin’ inhuman; and whether ah have tae protect us fae the man or protect us fae the woman.”
“Why not both the man and the woman?” asked Truman.
“Exactly my thought,” said Borium. “Yes, Deplorium. Why not?”
“Because one chance is aw ah’ve got. Ah have tae see where it’s weak an’ where it’s strong. Ah cannae get it wrong. Ah need tae find a vulnerable spot.”
Borium looked at him in dismay. “Yes, I understand what you’re trying to say.”
“Oh, there’s another thing ah meant tae say. A friend o’ mine is oan the way. Ah beat him once in the wrestle o’ the arm. He can be a wee bit boisterous, but means no harm.”

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