Sunday, 28 February 2016

Oh, brother (part 90) by Grant Harbison

“A word of warning,” said Countess White to Maude and Paine the following morning. “Drac is a virile boy, and when it comes to the ladies, he’s certainly not coy. He’ll definitely turn on the charm, but I can assure you that he’ll do you no harm. If he continues to persist, be polite but firmly resist. Your insistence will keep him at a distance.”
“Thank you for the advice,” said Paine. “We shall remain stoic if he tries to entice.”
Suddenly there was banging on the front door
“Countess White!” hollered Clyde from the hallway. “Shall I open for that insufferable bore?”
“Yes, Clyde. After that you have my permission to hide.”
Clyde was knocked to the floor as soon as he opened the door
And yelled as his attacker continued to attack
“Uncle Sweet!” the assailant yelled. “Drac’s back!”
“I know it’s you!” yelled the countess. “And leave Clyde alone, he’s a century older than you!”
“Where are you?”
“I’m in the dining room, come on through!”
Maude and Paine stared with mouths agape 
At the debonair man with the red and black cape
He gave them a brief glance and turned to the countess
“Uncle Sweet, why are you wearing a dress?”
“Transylvanian fashion is my latest passion.”
“It’s inane,” he remarked and once again eyed Maude and Paine. “I say, are these two prey?”
“No, they are friends who have come to stay. So be on your best behaviour. I forbid you to play.”
“Aw, can’t I just have one? It’s been ages since I’ve had a little fun.”
“Drac, stop your whining this instance!” These two ladies are in need of your assistance.”
“Yes, they are under a spell. Whoever cast it did very well.”
“Are you saying that you may not be able to break?”
“No, Uncle Sweet. I just don’t know how long it will take.”
“You can start after we’ve all had something to eat. You can pour the wine, I’ll cook the meat.”   

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