Tuesday, 23 February 2016

Oh, brother (part 87) by Grant Harbison

Deplorium’s capture caused Ilirium to cry out in jubilation
Jess and Beryl shared his exultation
But Shear remained apprehensive
“Shear, my dear,” said Jess. “You be lookin’ very pensive.”
“Let’s drink to celebrate and have some fun!” cried Ilirium. “Come on, Shear. We have won!”
“Aye, there’s nothin’ noo tae fear, Shear,” said Beryl. “Come an’ join the cheer. Jist don’t drink too much brew. Ye’re no carryin’ one child, ye’re carryin’ two. Ah bet ye thought that we never knew.”
“I’d guessed that my condition wouldn’t have escaped you,” said Shear. “But let’s leave that aside, we still have much to do. So I would suggest that no one partake in the brew.”
“What other problem could there possible be?” moaned Ilirium. “We have complete control over the other three.”
“Ilirium, we could have a situation that is equally dire.”
Jess eyed Shear with fear. “The vampire?”
Shear nodded her head. “I’m not acquainted with the powers of the undead.”
“Shear, ah cannae see how any problems can accrue,” said Beryl. “The women are under a spell an’ they havnae got a clue.”
“I may be wrong or I may be right, but something worries me about that transvestite. Vampires are creatures of the night and ones I know not how to fight. All I know is that they have the ability to take flight, and when they knock on someone’s door in the middle of the night, they’re compelled to open up and possessed with a bite. The women may be under a spell and may have nothing to tell, but if the vampire is perceptive, then it shouldn’t be too difficult to see that all is not well.”
“Some cloves o’ garlic might dae the trick,” said Beryl. “Ah bought some fae a Gaul the last time ah wis in Wick.”
“Beryl, the creatures be livin’ death,” said Jess. “I doubt if they’d be worried about a little bad breath.”
“Aye, but it’s the blood that it purifies. One wee bite an’ the vampire dies.”
“That sounds to me like an old wife’s tale,” remarked Shear. “It’d be worth a try, but a cert to fail.”
“At the moment we have no cause to worry,” said Ilirium. “Don’t you think we should get the others going in a hurry?”
“Yes,” replied Shear. “Beryl, it’s time to be Bess. I shall lie down and wait for a vision, or a voice to help me make the right decision.” 

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