Tuesday, 29 December 2015

Oh, brother (part 61) by Grant Harbison

Borium, Truman and Deplorium went through the cavern
And scaled many rocks to reach Hamish’s tavern
“Deplorium, how are you?” cried Hamish when they came through.
“Jist had a narrow escape, Hamish. Ah could dae wi’ a brew.”
“Aye, comin’ up. Who are the other two?”
“Truman an’ ma cousin Borium,” replied Deplorium.
“Ah suppose they’ll be wantin’ ales tae.”
“Please, sir,” said Borium. “If we may?”
“It sounds like he comes fae far away,” Hamish said to Deplorium. “A Sassenach, ah’d say.”
His discourteous tone caused Borium and Truman fright
“Aye, that they are,” responded Deplorium. “But ah can assure ye that they’re baith awright.”
“Ah’ll take yer word as ye’re a trusted friend, but ye ken us an’ their lot dinnae blend.”
“Och, Hamish, we’re aw human. Wait till ye get tae ken Borium an’ Truman.”
“Friendship ah cannae see. Ah’d banish the lot o’ them if it were up tae me.”
Borium and turned pale
“Dinnae be daft, Hamish,” chuckled Deplorium. “Noo, wid ye bring us that ale?”
“Deplorium,” whispered Borium as he watched Hamish go. “What has he got against Anglo?”
“Dinnae ye worry, cousin, it’s jist his way. Hamish is a man that likes tae have his say.”
“Ah suppose the goods ye have are Laird MacBlach’s,” said Hamish when he returned with the ales. “Is that why ye needed the Sassenachs?”
“Aye,” replied Deplorium as he took a sip of his ale. “Wi these two wee lads ah knew ah widnae fail. But MacBlach an’ his men raided the strand before ah could make a sale.”
“Ah’ll take them aff ye, jist name yer price.”
“Twenty groats wid be nice.”
“Ah’ll gie ye ten plus free drinks for you and yer men.”
“Hamish, ye’ve always been a hard man tae beat. Make that free drink an’ somethin’ tae eat.” 

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