Sunday, 27 December 2015

Oh, brother (part 59) by Grant Harbison

The man who held the reins went by the name of Arthur Haynes
And his fervour for Paine’s expertise was far greater than Blaine’s
The frequent stops and his demands for more
Were for Maude and Claude such a bore
Even Paine began to see it as a chore
“I’m getting so tired of it,” Paine complained to Maude and Claude. “I’m surprised that he is still able to sit.”
“It’s like your whip has now become a feather,” said Maude. “Or he has become so accustomed, his rear is like leather.”
“Maybe next time I’ll take a turn,” said Claude. “I’ll make sure the pain will burn.”
“Hey, I be hearing what you are saying,” said Arthur. “Only the mistress be doing the flaying.”
“Sir, she tires and has little zest,” said Claude. “And would you mind telling us why we are heading west?”
“We’ll go west and then the west Highland way. I’d rather avoid going near Glasgae.”
“Glasgae?” Paine queried. “Where is that and why do we have to turn away? Changing direction will cause further delay.”
“It’s a town renowned for blaggards and thieves. Some say that when one enters, one never leaves.”
“I’m sure there are,” said Maude. “But why do we have to veer so far?”
“Seeing that it will be for your wellbeing. You’re welcome to get off the cart if you don’t be agreeing.”
“Let’s just go with the man and not complain,” said Paine. “All I want to do is meet again with Blaine; my wonderful monk and gorgeous hunk.”
“Sounds like he’s been led astray,” Arthur mocked. “I’ve seen a few heading this way.”
His words brought hope to Paine. “Was one of them dark, handsome and tall?”
“Two I remember were very small.”
“Then that cannot be Blaine.”
“Then there was a larger one who’d been brutally slain.”

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