Wednesday, 13 April 2016

Oh, sister 15. (Memoirs of Nerys Jones iii)

It wasn’t all about abusin’ these men
There’d be a special request every now and then
From a pint sized man that liked to play horse
People like them had no remorse
And guess who got to be the horse?
Me of course
Down on all fours
Well, he was hardly goin’ to choose the other whores
“Giddy up, horsey!” he’d boom.
And I would crawl hastily around the room
While he’d flog my backside with his ridin’ crop
Once he was overzealous and wouldn’t stop
And I grabbed him by his jodhpurs and threw him off
I was at the end of my tether with this arrogant little toff
When he banged his head on the post of my bed
There were a few scary moments when I thought that he was dead
He just lay on the floor without makin’ a sound
And it took a few minutes before he came around
He was a bit groggy at first
And for my fit of temper I feared the worst
But I needn’t have distressed
For the diminutive dandy was utterly impressed
And told me that I was simply the best
I wasn’t goin’ to disagree
And when he handed me thrice the normal fee
What a relief that was for me
As he could have insisted that the session should have been free
I was glad that there was no ill will
For I couldn’t have gone and complained to the Old Bill
Imagine Nerys goin’ to the police
And sayin’, “I’m a horse and I threw off a toff, and before I got paid, he buggered off.”
They’d have chased me away
And the hilarity of it all would have made their day
I had a little box where I kept the extra cash
I’m sure the others had their own secret stash
And other secrets too
Let me tell you
Like a punter’s wife and the lovely Siobhan
I had a feelin’ that somethin’ was goin’ on
And when I bumped into her in the middle of the night
I don’t know who got the biggest fright
She’d been sneakin’ out of Siobhan’s room
And I knew that I had to keep stumm
As there’d have been the risk that someone might jaw
And the gossip would’ve reached the ears of the law
Relationships like these were highly illicit
Even a bribe would have failed to dismiss it
I’m sure that Robert must’ve been aware
But tried to pretend that he didn’t care
He must’ve cottoned on
Seein’ that the man had a thing for Siobhan

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