Friday, 8 April 2016

Oh, sister 13. (Memoirs of Siobhan MacGeary iii)

Well, by then I thought I’d seen everythin’ in life
Until one of the punters brought his wife
Or as Nancy would say, ‘trouble and strife’
It took a while to get used to her Cockney rhymin’ patter
Especially when she used the first word and not the latter 
Like she’d say apples and mean stairs
Ye know, apples and pears
So I was tellin’ ye about the customer and his wife
Bloody hell, I got the shock o’ my life
Thinkin’ that the foibles must be rife
Or somethin’ had to be wrong
There could be no other reasons for bringin’ her along
Well, ye can understand my anxiety
Wonderin’ what the hell she’d want from me
“I’ve come to watch,” she said to me. “I want to bask in his misery.”
“That’s fine by me,” I told her. “But that’ll require an extra fee.”
“Whatever the cost I shall pay it to you. Would you mind if at some stage I joined in too?”
That caught me by surprise
And that dark look in her eyes
It was rather dauntin’
But I kept my composure and asked, “What is it ye’re wantin’?”
“Well, I’m afraid that dear Giles has misbehaved,” she told me. “Never have I seen anything so depraved.”
She mentioned his name
No one does that in this game
Apart from Sarah Lee
But that’s only when he became a she
Not that it made any difference to me
They could be anyone they wanted to be
I asked her what he’d done
And if he was to be punished for his sordid fun
“For what he has done he needs to be flayed,” she replied. “Stooping so low and fornicating with the maid.”
I had to stop myself laughin’ at what she relayed
That image of Giles happily slummin’
And not even hearin’ the missus comin’
“It was only the pretty ones that he hired,” she continued. “But she got her comeuppance and was instantly fired.”
That’s typical o’ the rich
She got dismissed because he had an itch
Punishments were normally done by Nerys
But in this case I was happy to get a wee piece
“Giles, I demand that ye strip!” I yelled at him. “Yer degenerate act calls for the whip!”
The woman chortled with glee. “Make him suffer, do it for me!”
And like a woman insane
I whipped his bare buttocks again and again
Relishin’ his sobs and screams of pain
I then gave the whip to my female guest
And she lashed her man with equal zest
“Please, no more!” he shrieked. “It’s terribly sore!”
“Sore?” she cried. “Then you shouldn’t have cheated with that peasant whore!”
His pleas to stop she continued to ignore
Until eventually she got bored and chased him out the door
That’s when she asked me the question
A rather naughty suggestion
Her and me
I told her that I’d agree if she paid double the fee 

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