Men in skirts by Grant Harbison

She said, “I love a man in a kilt, I do confess.”

Ah said, “Yer mistaken, foreign lassie. It’s just me in a dress.”

“But you look so William Wallace, you look so Braveheart.”

“Ye dinnae ken what’s underneath, it’ll sure gie ye a start.”

“What do you have underneath that I shouldn’t know?”

“It’s a Scottish secret. Ah’m afraid it’s a no show.”

“Do the Scottish girls know what it’s about?”

“They definitely dae and it gie’s me merr clout.”

“Would you mind if I just take a look?”

“Naw, fair lassie, we’ve got tae go by the book.”

“And what book is that?”
“A fair amount o’ money tae look and a fortune tae gie a pat.”