Friday, 24 April 2015

Dean the mean and diffident marine by Grant Harbison

Dean the marine was prepared to be scared
But he just could not bear to be bared
And viewed the naked body as something not to be shared
A puritan of principles
He was a complete and utter prude
And considered it exceedingly rude to parade around in the nude
He was skilled in military exercises
Combat and to shoot
But the soldier was far too timid to be seen in his birthday suit
Dean was a fighting machine
Tough and dour
But what frightened him the most was the inevitable communal shower
He could kill with his bare hands
Live off the land
Survive in any weather
But he was outrageously coy of being caught in the altogether
So Dean had to wait until the witching hour
To sneak out of bed for his solitary shower
Wait each night till the others were asleep
And to the showers deftly creep
With heart hammering fear of being accosted
Day after day he wakes up exhausted
But the real truth is known only to his mum
And since he was a small boy he hasn't been able to overcome
That his wiener is smaller than the size of his thumb

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