Tuesday 17 May 2016

Oh, sister 26. (Memoirs of Robert Brown vi)

Giles’ funeral wis a lavish affair
But most were only there because they had tae be there
Absence would’ve been a huge disgrace
An’ there wis the risk of rebuff for not showin’ yer face
It wis the scandal
The shock for many wis too much handle
Giles’ masochistic ways
Found deid in an alley wearin’ women’s claes
And what exacerbated the horror even more
Wis the design o’ the dress that he wore
The favoured fashion o’ the common whore
The women at the service were highly critical
An’ the men were indubitably hypocritical
For many were regulars at ma door
Dressin’ like whores an’ so much more
Ma presence disturbed these familiar faces
Filled them wi’ fear that ah might air their disgraces
They approached me wi’ nervous smiles
No tae engage in small talk or chat aboot Giles
But tae offer me money tae shut ma mooth
Ah rebuked the reprobates for bein’ uncouth
And promised that ma lips would remain sealed
As long as ma identity wis never revealed
Ah wis eyed wi’ curiosity by the rest o’ the set
Wonderin’ who ah was an’ what ah wis daein’ wi’ Yvette
Yvette introduced me as an auld friend o’ Giles
An’ told them that for the funeral ah’d travelled many miles
Ah wis greeted by most wi’ politeness an’ smiles
But some were indifferent and ah got the occasional frown
“That’s strange,” ah heard wan o’ them say. “Giles never mentioned Lord Robert Brown.”
It didnae matter tae me because ah knew very soon
That Robert Broon wid be the talk o’ the toon
Or should ah say, Robert Brown would be the talk of the town
Ah had tae get used tae this new way o’ speakin’
Ah couldnae risk havin’ ma secret leakin’
Accordin’ tae Yvette ah did very well
An’ any hint o’ workin’ class would’ve been impossible tae tell
Deception is what ah dae best
An’ seein’ that ah past the test
Yvette informed the rest that ah wis her guest
An’ that ah’d be stayin’ wi’ her durin’ her time o’ grievin’
No that ah wis plannin’ oan leavin’
It wis a brilliant start
An’ ah really enjoyed playin’ the part
After the service we said oor goodbyes
An’ Yvette wiped the crocodile tears fae her eyes
Oh, ah have tae mention
Before we left ah had some female attention
An’ some forthright whispers o’ wicked intention
But Yvette wis the wan ah wis interested in
An’ as soon as we got home we gave in tae sin
The desire ignited as soon as we kissed
An’ ah realised that it wis somethin’ that ah sorely missed

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