Wednesday, 11 May 2016

Oh, sister 24. (Memoirs of Sally McGhee v)

We all got requests that were exceptionally bizarre
But the ones that I got were crazier by far
Some were kinky and some were perverted
But seldom was I disconcerted
That was due to somethin’ that Robert had imparted
About a fool and his money and how soon they were parted
With Robert lookin’ out for us we never had to worry
A rowdy customer would have been removed in a hurry
Not that any did us harm
Robert might have had charm
But the Scot’s fiery temper was cause for alarm
All our efforts were appreciated
He just didn’t like a lass to be inebriated
That was somethin’ he never tolerated
But one night a customer came in
And wanted me to share his bottle o’ gin
Robert’s rule I had to ignore
This was easy money for a thirsty whore
So while I locked the door
The customer got two mugs and began to pour
Down the hatch they went and he filled them once more
I think I lost count after drink number four
But we carried on drinkin’ ‘til there was hardly any more
That’s when I stood up and fell to the floor
I managed to get up and stagger to the door
With difficulty I should add as my leg was sore
Oh, mercy me
I was really quite drunk and needed to pee
Moments later I was aghast
When the man I was with wouldn’t let me past
I began to plead
“Please, sir,” I said. “I have an urgent need.”
But he was totally unconcerned about my dismay
And when I tried to get past he blocked the way
I felt the pressure mountin’
And heard him mention somethin’ about a human fountain
That was to be me
And he was goin’ to be the W.C.
Well, at that point in time I didn’t care about humiliation
I was on the verge of desperation
So I quickly pulled my bloomers down
And he crawled eagerly underneath my gown
I instantly got goin’ and he cried out with elation
When he felt the gush of the sordid saturation
As soon as I was done I showed him the door
Excitedly he told me that he’d soon be back for more
“Ye can come back next week,” I said. “Bring another bottle o’ gin and I’ll provide the leak.”
Immediately I got goin’ and scrubbed the floor
And not long afterwards there was a knock on my door
“Sally, what the hell is goin’ on?” cried Siobhan.
I got up of the floor and swore
And then hid what was left o’ the gin and invited her in
“What happened to that man?” she asked. “He was absolutely soakin’.”
When I told her the truth she thought that I was jokin’

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