Oh, sister 42. (Memoirs of Nancy Trollop ix)

Oh, Robert’s face when ‘e saw me

It ‘ad looked like ‘e was ragin’ with jealousy

And I just loved Lord Montgomery’s supremacy

The way ‘e commanded me

To go and get Jeeves for a romp for three

That’s when Robert stormed out of the ‘ouse

The louse

Back to ‘is pet

Yvette

She might ‘ave ‘ad what I wanted to get

But I ‘eard Montgomery threaten to bring ‘er more shame

Robert only ‘ad ‘imself to blame

I anticipated ‘er pain

With the ‘ope that it would drive Robert insane

So I used me feminine powers of persuasion

Mentionin’ to ‘is Lordship about the seriousness of the situation

And told ‘im that for Robert’s insolence

There ‘ad to be consequence

That appealed to ‘is twisted mind

And ‘e said, “You are right, little whore. What do you have in mind?”

“Well, we both know where ‘e is weak,” I replied. “Maybe you should use ‘er if it’s vengeance that you seek.”

“And what would you have me do?” ‘e asked me. “It seems to me that you’ll derive pleasure from that too.”

“Robert was mine, you see,” I said. “She’s the one that took ‘im from me.”

I sensed some aggression

But ‘e softened and asked, “Why should I indulge your obsession?”

“Because I’m willin’ to do anythin’ you ask me to,” I whispered seductively. “Be your slave and do anythin’ for you.”

“Yes, I would like obedience and allegiance,” he said and commanded me to bend.

I winced as I felt ‘im penetrate me and pound my rear end

“I have a meeting at midnight,” he told me when ‘e came to the end. “I insist that you attend.”

I was led to a secret room later that night

It was so bloody creepy that I was shiverin’ with fright

And when I saw figures dressed in robes appear

Well, that just further exacerbated my fear

My ‘eart pounded

When me eyes adjusted to the dimness and I realised that I was surrounded

“Whore, do not falter!” Lord Montgomery shouted at me. “Remove your clothing and go to the alter!”

Tremblin’ in terror, I screamed, “I don’t understand!”

“Silence!” Montgomery shouted. “Obey my command!”

Just as I finished removin’ me gown

I was carried to the alter and forced to lie down

Four of them ‘eld me and I screamed for me life

When I saw ‘is Lordship ‘oldin’ a knife

“Will you renounce the light and darkness embrace?” Montgomery asked me and flashed the knife in front of my face.

I didn’t quite understand

But I knew that I ‘ad to agree to ‘is demand

Because if I didn’t I’d surely be dead

“Yes!” I cried and nodded me ‘ead.

“Then do what I tell you without hesitation,” he said. “Get down on the floor and prepare for initiation.”

Immediately I got down on me knees

For everyone present to do as they please

Oh, sister 41. (Memoirs of Robert Brown ix)

It was Yvette that broke the news tae me

Aboot Montgomery and Sally McGhee

He even insisted that she had an affair wi’ me

The story spread quickly through London’s high society

Causin’ poor Yvette much anxiety

Because gossipin’ in their world often lingers

Accompanied wi’ sneers an’ pointed fingers

There was nae point in tryin’ tae deny the accusation

It would have jist provoked more aggravation

Most never knew him for the deviant he was

And his close knit friends seemed tae relish his cause

It wis rumoured that once he’d had tea wi’ the Queen

So naebody wid believe that the man could be obscene

The only thing ah could dae wis take it oan the chin

This wee skirmish ah’d never win

Ah decided a wee visit widnae dae any harm

But the idea caused Yvette much alarm

“Robert, what good could it possible do?” she cried. “You’re not going to get an apology from Hugh.”

“The man’s got a cheek,” ah said. “If ah don’t go see him it’ll look like ah’m weak.”

“Oh, that foolish male pride!” she moaned. “No one will think that you’re trying to hide. Some things in life we have to ignore.”

Ah didnae agree and walked oot the door

On arrival at Montgomery’s the butler let me in

I wis led tae the drawin’ room an’ offered some gin

Ah shook ma head

An’ told him tae pour me a whisky instead

It wis a while before Montgomery came through

“Hello, Robert,” he greeted. “What can I do for you?”

He seemed pleased to see me an’ stuck oot his hand

Ah refused it an’ said, “Ah’m sure ye understand.”

“Oh, come now, Robert. Don’t be sore,” he said. “I had to think of something as she was beginning to bore.”

“Well, yer private life is yer own, so stay oot o’ mine,” ah said tae him. “Stick tae that an’ we’ll baith be fine.”

“Dear chap, do I take that as a threat?” he asked. “That would be something you’ll deeply regret.”

“Well, ye’ll find that ah give as good as ah get,” ah told him. “Jist stay away fae me an’ Yvette.”

His facial expression turned to a sneer. “She is such a dear. Does she know that you are here?”

“Naw, she disnae,” ah lied. “The poor wee lassie is petrified.”

"Then for her sake walk out the door,” he snarled. “I may still require her services like that of a whore.”

“Never again will ye go that far!” ah yelled. “Wan o’ these days ye’ll be exposed for the coward ye are!”

Jist then Nancy came through

And said to Montgomery, “I do ‘ope ‘e ain’t insultin’ you.”

“There’s nothing to worry about, my pretty little one,” he said. “Go and get Jeeves and let’s have a little fun.”

In anger ah headed for the door

There wis a time ah fancied that Cockney wee whore

But no more

But it added tae ma frustration

How easily he won people by intimidation

Ah wis determined tae make that cease

And ah wis helped by a wee visit fae Nerys

Givin’ me the truth aboot Nancy

Her thievery and who she really did fancy

Oh, sister 37. (Memoirs of Nancy Trollop viii)

It ‘ad all seemed too good to be true

Bein’ invited to a rich man’s do

We should have known there’d be method to Montgomery’s madness

Sally played her part feignin’ tears and sadness

After all, it was Robert we were out to get

And I really enjoyed the misery on the face of Yvette

Oh, Robert were terribly upset

And got a damn good ‘idin’ tryin’ to protect ‘is posh pet

You know what was really funny?

It weren’t ‘im that stole the bees and ‘oney

It were me that pinched the cash

And got meself a nice little stash

Now, why would Nancy ‘ave stooped to such treachery?

Is what you’re probably askin’ me

Well, because ‘e never noticed me

After we moved in with the other three

I was ‘ead over ‘eels with Robert Brown

But since ‘e started actin’ like a man about town

I was never given a second glance

All me life I’d ‘oped for romance

Never ‘ad I been in love before

And my feelings just got ‘arder to ignore

But to ‘im I was still Nancy the ‘ore  

I fancied ‘im since that first night we’d met

And ‘is love and affection I tried ‘ard to get

But no, ‘e ‘ad to go off with that bitch Yvette

That choice I set out to make ‘im regret

I wasn’t done yet

I felt a little bad about deceivin’ the other three

But Robert Brown belonged to me

And if that took an act of duplicity

That was ‘ow it was goin’ to be

I thought that Sally could ‘elp in bringin’ ‘im down to size

But Lord Montgomery’s actions were a ‘uge surprise

I initially thought that she were in control

But ‘e’d be better ‘elpin’ me achieve my goal

So, soon after that me plans were laid

The first thing I did was get rid of Sally’s maid

That weren’t too difficult to do

We’d engaged in somethin’ that were strictly taboo

And if exposed it’d have caused such a ‘uge ballyhoo

She knew what to do

She ‘ad no doubts in ‘er mind that I’d see it through

That’s ‘ow I became employed

And after a few days I was overjoyed

When ‘is Lordship started showin’ an interest in me

I needed ‘im to get rid of Sally McGhee

Divorce ‘er and marry me

I was extremely zealous

But I ‘ad to do somethin’ to make Robert jealous

Montgomery was enough to make any girl sick

But total obedience to that pompous …

Well, that was the only thing that’d do the trick

I’d spent most me life lyin’ on me back

A little sacrifice to get Robert back.

Oh, sister 36. (Memoirs of Robert Brown viii)

“Smile as ye kill,” Montgomery said.

The thrill for him wis when their spirit wis dead

The man wis definitely sick in the head

It riled me tae see her bein’ used and abused

An’ for tryin’ tae interfere ah wis battered an’ bruised

But that physical pain couldnae compare

Wi’ Yvette’s humiliation an’ her deadpan stare

For a while after that she didnae talk

An’ ah kept seein’ her goin’ down oan Montgomery’s…

Sorry, but it wis an image ah couldnae shake

An’ even though ma body continued to ache

Ah had tae be strong for Yvette

Oh, ah wisnae done yet

She jist needed tae enlighten me oan the extent o’ his threat

He needed tae pay

For degradin’ her an’ the other lassies tae

Yvette woke me a few days later wi’ tears in her eyes

“Oh, Robert,” she sobbed. “They really hurt you. I do apologise.”

“Don’t worry aboot me, hen,” ah said tae her. “It’s you ah’m worried aboot. Why did he have tae submit tae that brute?”

“Because the man is evil personified,” she replied. “I tried to refuse him once; believe me, I tried.”   

“Ah don’t understand,” ah said. “What did he dae when ye refused his demand?”

“Oh, Robert, you can never get to Hugh,” she said. “Look what happened to you.”

 “It’s nothin’ compared tae what you were put through,” ah said. “Noo tell me, what did he dae tae you?”

“My mother married him when I was about nine or ten,” she said. “I knew that there was something wrong, even then. It wasn’t much. A disturbing leer or a lingering touch. But when I became of age, he took his lust to another stage. And when I refused, two men held me down while he violently abused. I never refused again, as he threatened to offer me to the other men.”

Ah could understand why she couldnae say no

Oh, ah had tae kill this man an’ make it slow

Tryin’ hard no tae let ma fury show, I asked her, “Did yer mother know?”

“I doubt whether she knew,” she responded. “My mother was besotted with Hugh. She wouldn’t have believed what I’ve told you.”

“What aboot yer real father?” ah asked. “Was he not around?”

“He drowned,” she told me. “Somewhere at sea, but his body was never found.”

Ah saw her wipe a tear

“Ah’m so sorry tae hear,” ah sympathised. “Nae wonder ye had tae live wi’ that fear.”

“Yes, for many a year,” she said. “But when Giles and I were married he hardly came near.”

“Ye mean tae say that he still assaulted ye after ye were wed?” ah asked. “If ah wis Giles the man would be dead.”

“Yes, he still continued having his sordid fun,” she answered. “It didn’t even matter to him that Giles was his son.”

This man wis seriously deranged

“I never loved Giles,” she continued. “It was all arranged.”

“Why him and no other?” I asked her. “His father an’ your mother, but in a sense it must have felt like marryin’ yer brother.”

“Hugh just loves control,” she said. “The man’s soul is as black as coal. Giles was meek and mild, and thank goodness he didn’t press for a child. I don’t suppose it would have mattered if it was a girl or a boy, a child of mine would have been Montgomery’s toy.”

“The man’s a beast,” ah said. “Ye’ll find many oot there, even a priest. Yvette, let me take care o’ this man. Jist gie me a while tae devise a plan.”

She gave me a look o’ utter dread, and said, “Do that and you’ll wind up dead.”

“Or possibly goin’ down,” ah said. “But ah’ll make him regret ever meetin’ Robert Brown.” 

Oh, sister 35. (Memoirs of Nerys Jones vii)

We had a visit from Sally McGhee

Or should I say Lady Montgomery

She was still Sally to me

And talkin’ all posh was she

Forgettin’ that it was only Siobhan, Nancy and me

Dean had gone

We’d told him that behaviour like that just wasn’t on 

We’d had enough of his drinkin’ sprees

And despite his pleas

I said to him, “Out, we’re tired of you thinkin’ that you can do as you please.”

So he left and never came back

And neither did Nancy’s Jack

But I was on about our visit from Sally McGhee

His Lordship was havin’ a party and invited us three

Well, she was the one that made him agree

As it was meant to be for a select few

He even gave her money too

For our shoes and dresses

And to go to a fancy place to sort our tresses

She didn’t linger

Already she had him twisted around her finger

I asked her how she got it right to get us an invite

Considerin’ that there’d only be special guests that night

“Curiosity killed the cat,” she said and left it at that.

The night started off like a dream

Us little whores got to mix with the cream

And they were ever so kind

Cheerfully chattin’ while we wined and dined

But as soon as the staff were sent away

That was the signal for the toffs to play

And as soon as they closed the doors

We went back to bein’ whores

Well, Nancy, Siobhan and me

Certainly not Lady Montgomery

We were ordered to strip and lie on the table

By the popinjays and the completely unstable

And if you think that was rude

We were told to lie still and covered with food

In my life as a whore I’ve had some strange requests

And more than my fair share of peculiar pests

But never once did I contemplate

That I’d become a human plate

Completely motionless while the privileged ate

And when they were done

The women moved back to let the men have their fun

They applauded and shrieked like they were truly elated

While us whores and the men fornicated

I caught sight of Sally and saw her cry

And heard her yell at his Lordship, “Why, Hugh, why?”

“Because they’ve had a taste of what it’s like to be rich!” he roared. “And now it’s back to reality, you stupid little bitch!”

I saw the sympathetic faces of Robert and Yvette

But there were looks of scorn from the rest of the set

Tears streamed from Sally’s eyes

“I didn’t know that this was going to happen,” she said to us. “I do apologise.”

“Meddling in my affairs is something you’ll regret,” Lord Montgomery told her. “If I want something, I’ll damn well get. Now watch what I do to the lovely Yvette. She is one who understands the consequences of refusing my demands.”

Yvette stripped naked when he clapped his hands

“You see,” he said and stripped naked too. “Come and kneel before me Yvette. Show them what you can do.”

Robert tried to interfere

But the other men surrounded him and wouldn’t let him near

“Oh, Lord Brown,” said Montgomery as Yvette went down. “Control is how the gentry get their thrill. We smile with satisfaction as we go for the kill. You’ll have to abandon compassion if you want to join our squad. Only then will you feel like a god.”   

Oh, sister 34. (Memoirs of Sally McGhee vii)

I suppose I should have been happy with married life

Especially after becomin’ Lord Montgomery’s wife

I was determined to make it work

And even embrace his little quirk

But there was a lot more to Hugh than a fixation with a shoe

The first thing that became apparent to me

Was that lonely was only what he pretended to be

At night I’d wake up and he wouldn’t be in the room

And when he returned he’d be reekin’ of sweet perfume

There was also somethin’ lurkin’ behind his placid demeanour   

Somethin’ dark and meaner

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it at first

But feared the worst

I wasn’t quite sure what to do

There was definitely another side to Hugh

I was hesitant to ask

But I had to know what was behind the mask

I tried to extract what I could from my maid

Nothin’ direct as I knew she’d be afraid

Somethin’ that might explain these peculiarities

Or at least somethin’ that would put my mind at ease

But there was nothin’ that she could tell me that I didn’t already know

And my curiosity continued to grow

So much so that I was goin’ off my head

And the next time I awoke in an empty bed

I decided to explore

And went through the house floor by floor

Listenin’ by every door

I was about to give up and go back to sleep

When the sound of voices made my heart leap

Not from far

A little up the hallway a door was ajar

I decided to take a peek

Hopin’ that none o’ the floorboards would creak

I was really scared

And really not prepared

To see my husband in a wig and a frock

With his lips around the butler’s …

I nearly squealed with shock

I was mesmerised

More so when Hugh was bein’ sodomised

I half expected him to put up a fight

But the man that I married screamed with delight

And the smell of perfume

That sickly sweetness was present in the room

It was Hugh that wore

I originally thought that it might have come from a whore

I watched until I could watch no more

And slowly crept away from the door

I’d been had

The marriage was a façade

A front for the high society

In case of the eventuality

That someone may discover his true sexuality

But how could I fault him for his dishonesty

When my own goal was one o’ duplicity

And deception is usually incurred by the one that deceives

But he could’ve done better than our butler Jeeves  

Oh, sister 33. (Memoirs of Siobhan MacGeary vii)

At first I thought that I was dreamin’

When I heard our Nancy screamin’

“It’s the Ripper, it’s Jack!”

It was enough to give someone a heart attack

Nerys and I ran out but he’d already run out the door

That man had put terror into every single whore

Nerys had to grip her

As she wouldn’t stop screamin’, “It were ‘im. The knickers thief is the Ripper!”

“Calm down, he’s gone!” Nerys yelled at her. “The only ones here are me and Siobhan!”

“But ‘e were ‘ere!” she sobbed and trembled with fear.

We hadn’t had any other customers that night

But Nancy’s revelation sure gave us a fright

It was beyond belief

That evil such as he could also be a thief

With all those tales of his murders and the inevitable rumours

Never had it been said that he had a thing for bloomers

Perhaps it was somethin’ that the newspapers failed to relay

Because the public may not have believed what they had to say

People would accept the gruesome death of a whore

And some would be fascinated with the grisly gore

But in Victorian times they were so naïve

And a knickers sniffin’ madman they’d find hard to believe

Ye can understand that we were all extremely shocked

And from then on we were vigilant and kept the door locked

Robert’s departure left Nerys in charge

But the evil Ripper was still at large

And such was the trepidation he managed to arouse

We needed protection from him and the average louse

We were reluctant to admit that we needed a man in the house

But immediately we began to advertise

We need someone tough and of incredible size

For days after that there were very long queues

And after many long and tedious interviews

The other two weren’t decided on whom to choose

It was me that suggested that we hire Dean

He was by far the biggest man that we’d ever seen

Big broad shoulders and seemed very keen

We told him that he’d have to work for very little pay

But would make sure that he got three meals a day

Things went well for a while

He was very pleasant and always had a smile

Until one day he stole a bottle of gin

And that smile turned into a mischievous grin

Makin’ us rue our decision to let him in

The man had a problem with drink

It’s not what you think

Dean didn’t become mean

But his drunken behaviour was quite obscene

As he had it in his head that he was the Queen

Aye, Victoria

And played the role with great euphoria

Nerys was not impressed

As it was in her favourite black dress that he was dressed

I suppose he thought it’d be right for the part

But he came across more like the world’s ugliest tart

Extremely boozed

Constantly natterin’, “I am not amused!”

Oh, sister 31. (Memoirs of Robert Brown vii)

Ah’d been lookin’ forward tae Lord Montgomery’s weddin’

But it wis an event that Yvette wis completely dreadin’

“We have tae go,” ah said tae her. “Jist think o’ how many people ah could get tae know.”

“We have no choice but to go,” she said. “I shudder to think what might happen if I failed to show.”

Ah wisnae sure what she meant

But somethin’ told me that she feared this gent

It wis only some silly event

Yet it seemed that non-attendance posed a threat

An’ seein’ that me an’ His Lordship had never met

Ah tried tae get a wee bit more fae Yvette

But she wis sayin’ no more

Jist the mention o’ his name shook her tae the core

Oan the way tae the weddin’ she trembled wi’ fear

Exacerbated more as the carriage got near

It wis obvious that this man had clout

An’ ah wis determined tae discover what he wis really about

But there wis a wee distraction

When ma eyes caught sight o’ the main attraction

Ah thought, ‘His Lordship certainly has taste’

There wis nae time tae waste

Ah had tae take a chance

An’ ask the dainty lady if she’d care tae dance

Ye can imagine what a shock it wis for me

When ah looked at her eyes and saw Sally McGhee

Dressed like that she wisnae easy tae recognise

Nae wonder ah got a surprise

She looked like a lady o’ grace 

And that harsh Belfast brogue there wis hardly a trace

Since ah’d never met His Lordship before

Ah wondered how he came tae meet the connivin’ wee whore

Immediately ah started thinkin’ how she could be utilised

But she wis no havin’ any o’ it an’ ah wis promptly chastised

And accused o’ theft

Ah hadnae been near the hoose since the day that ah left

Ah let Sally go an’ went back tae Yvette

“Darling,” ah said to her as she wis chattin’ wi’ friends. “I do think that it’s time His Lordship and I met.”

Immediately she began tae fret

Her enormous fear ah jist didnae get

Eventually ah wis introduced by her friend Harriette

“Ah, Lord Brown,” he said as he shook ma hand. “How is the lovely Yvette?”

“She is very well, sir,” wis aw ah could say.

His pleasant manner changed when Harriette walked away

“Both of us know that you’re nothing more than a fake,” he said. “And if you are planning to go against me it will be a huge mistake.”

“Sir, I can assure you that is not my intention at all,” ah told him. “I’m just hoping that for me fame and fortune will befall.”

“Then your secret is safe with me,” he said. “I assume that you recognised Sally McGhee.”

“Yes,” ah answered. “It’s strange that I’ve never met you before.”

He laughed and said, “That’s because I never entered through the front door.”

“Sir, I do hope a friendship can ensue,” ah said. “Maybe you can advise me on what to do, and please don’t hesitate to ask if there is something that I can do for you.”

“Call me Hugh,” he said. “To start with you can ask Yvette to lend me a shoe.”  

Oh, sister 30 (Memoirs of Nerys Jones vi)

The theft of our hard earned money left all of us sour

But we were goin’ to show Robert that we had the power

Sally was the best choice as she was pretty and petite

And the one most likely to fit in with the elite

Her Belfast brogue was a bit strong

But proper elocution didn’t take long

Arranged by her husband to be

Lord Montgomery

All of us were impressed with the new Sally McGhee

Or soon to be

Lady Montgomery

Wife of Hugh

The first name of the man that got his jollies from a shoe 

She even changed her first name too

She told us that she needed somethin’ new

Somethin’ more appropriate for the snooty crew

Hugh suggested Prudence but she preferred Pru

Prudence or Pru Montgomery

A lot more high society than Sally McGhee

As it got closer to the weddin’ we were all excited

The cream of London town were all invited

And that included Robert and Yvette

Hugh was one of the few that Robert hadn’t met

And unknown to the rest of us as he was Sally’s pet

She told us that he visited her once or twice a week

And round the back and through her window he liked to sneak

In order to avoid meetin’ one of his kind

He just required privacy and a place to unwind

The weddin’ took place at the Lord’s lovely manor

We weren’t guests but I got to be planner

Brought about by Sally’s persuasion

Montgomery even bought our clothes for the occasion

Sally made the most beautiful bride

And Montgomery’s face was beamin’ with pride

We could only observe from the side

But later on Sally did confide

How Robert reacted at the very first glance

As moments afterwards he asked her to dance

And stared in shock and surprise

Recognition when he looked at her eyes

 “What dae ye think ye’re daein’?” he asked her as they took to the floor. “Ye’re nothin’ but a silly wee whore.”

“And you are so much more?” she replied. “Oh, Robert, you are such a bore.”

“Och, drop the snooty act,” he told her. “Yer pronunciation is no quite exact. And these lot here might be friendly an’ pleasant, but if they were tae find oot that ye’re jist a wee Irish peasant.”

“Do what ye have to do,” she told him. “They’d believe Lord Montgomery rather than you.”

“Let’s call a truce,” he said. “Noo that ye’re part o’ the elite, ye might have a use.”

“Oh, you are so kind,” she responded. “What do you have in mind?”

“Less o’ the sarcasm for a start,” he said irritably. “Ah won’t be talked down tae by a jumped up wee tart.”

“Whatever ye have in mind, the answer is no,” she said. “But I might reconsider if ye pay back the money ye owe.”

“What money?” he asked. “Ah don’t know what ye mean.”

“Ye know fine well what I mean,” she said. “Stealin’ from whores is not only wrong, it’s bloody obscene.”

“But ah never stole fae you or the others,” he told her. “Ah swear oan ma mother’s life an’ ma brother’s.”

“Oh, how low you have descended,” she said to him as the music abruptly ended.  

“If ah wanted tae steal, ah’d have done it before,” he said as they left the floor.

“Lies, all lies, I don’t want to hear anymore,” she told him. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get back to the one that I adore.”  

Oh, sister 29. (Memoirs of Sally McGhee vi)

I’d been wonderin’ what was wrong with Miss MacGeary

Sittin’ in her room withdrawn and weary

But when she came home one day sad and teary

I couldn’t help but ask her, “What’s up, dearie?”

She threw her arms around me and instantly broke down

And babbled about the rich cow and Robert Brown

I must admit I hadn’t been aware

That Siobhan and the woman had been havin’ an affair

Affairs like these were mostly kept quiet

And few had the courage to even try it

Certainly not me

That kind o’ thing wasn’t for Sally McGhee

But there was no gettin’ away from the fact she’d been mistreated

And no wonder the poor lass was forlorn and defeated

That blasted Robert Brown

After a while he stopped comin’ aroun’

And that had nothin’ to with the treatment o’ Siobhan

It was the fact that all our money had gone

It wasn’t in the place where we usually kept

But that rotten scoundrel was very adept

And must have sneaked in while all o’ us slept

I suppose we only had ourselves to blame

All o’ us knew that the man had no shame

But we were determined to play the same game

And show the bugger that we could be just as shady 

And the first thing we were going to do was make me a lady

It was me that they chose

Because o’ my lovely shoes and fancy clothes

And to those two that made that wonderful donation

The time was ripe for some more manipulation

But who to choose

The one that wears the dresses or the one that sniffs the shoes

Remember when I was dreamin’ like a silly wee whore?

Wonderin’ if one o’ them would come through the door

And say, “Sally McGhee, will you marry me?”

Well, now I had to plant that seed

And find out which one had the greatest need

Which one would react with abject dismay

If I tearfully told them I was goin’ away

I had an idea that it’d be the one that had a fixation with shoes

He’d be so much easier to use and abuse

And I was right

He was dreadfully distraught when I told him one night

 “I cannot abide this life anymore,” I told him. “There is more to life than bein’ a whore. I need to be free and find someone who will marry me.”

“Please don’t do this, you’re all that I’ve got,” he sobbed. “Tell me that you’ll give it a little more thought.”  

“It is not my intention to be unkind,” I said. “I have given it thought and I’ve made up my mind.”

That’s when he got down on one knee

“My darling little whore, I can offer you more,” he said. “Please will you marry me?”

“Alas,” I said to him. “We are chalk and cheese.”

“It doesn’t matter to me, my little sweet pea,” he responded. “Just marry me, please!”

I couldn’t let my excitement show

So I just shrugged my shoulders and said, “Oh, I don’t know.”

“I promise to teach you all you’ll need to know,” he cried. “Just marry me and say that you won’t go.”  

“I’m going to need a few days to decide what I want to do,” I responded. “But in the meantime, may I offer you my shoe?”

Oh, sister 28. (Memoirs of Siobhan MacGeary vi)

I became more and more impatient with Robert and Yvette

And the fling that I had with Yvette I began to regret

There was o’ part of me that wished we hadn’t met

And Robert had become a right selfish get

“It’s no the right time yet,” he’d say. “We’re daein’ the best we can, pet.”

For weeks I ignored the others and stayed in my room

But one day I got sick and tired o’ the perpetual gloom

Intuition told me that Robert was a threat

So I decided that I would confront Yvette

I thought, ‘To hell with Robert Brown.’

And I made my way to the other side o’ town

I dressed up real smart

But I was shamed and made to feel like a tart

Aye, a common whore

Told that I could only enter through the back door

And when I was escorted through by the maid

Yvette said to me, “Go away, you silly bitch. You have been paid!”

Aye, ye could say that I was shocked and a wee bit teary

But no one did that to Siobhan MacGeary

“So, I’m just a common whore?’ I asked her. “And there was me thinkin’ there might be more.”

“Go away and never come back,” she said. “I do really hope that you don’t meet Jack.”

“So, it’s you and Robert,” I said. “Is that true?”

“Get out, right now!” she screamed. “It has nothing to do with you!”

I looked at the shock on the face of her maid

Exacerbated when she said, “Why, are you complaining? You were handsomely paid.” 

I could say no more

And walked out the front like a nonchalant whore

My heart felt sore

But she and he weren’t goin’ to get the better of me

And I was goin’ to tell the story to the other three

When I got home late afternoon there was no one there

But the appearance of a man and a woman gave me a scare

I abrubtly asked, “What do you want?”

“A woman is what I want,” she answered. “No one knows that, but there has been the occasional taunt.”

I looked at the man who was extremely gaunt

“I just want to observe,” he told me and giggled. “You could say perv.”

I couldn’t believe the bloody nerve!

So I asked her,” Have you ever done this before?”

“Of course not,” she replied. “That is why I have come to a whore.”

I wanted to show them the door

But instead I asked her, ‘Has yer man become quite a bore?”

“Oh, yes,” she replied. “The lack of satisfaction I can’t ignore.”

I smiled and said, “Ask him to close the door.”

It wasn’t long before I heard her cries of elation

One look at him and I saw his frustration

He wanted to get in on the action

But this was a strictly female interaction 

He could grunt and grab his crotch

But it was me and her and he could only watch

I was paid triple the fee

Which was fine and you’ll agree

But I couldn’t understand why women fancied me 

Oh, sister 27. (Memoirs of Nancy Trollop vi)

I ‘ad this fear of a bogeyman when I was a nipper

But real fear came in the form of the Ripper

Us ‘ores lived in terror of a possible attack

From the evil monster that called ‘imself Jack

It didn’t matter that ‘is crimes took place in the East End

On Robert we could no longer depend

Now and then ‘e would pitch

But spent most of ‘is time with that fancy bitch

I was curious to know what was goin’ on

Because to me it seemed that she ‘ad a thing for Siobhan

Siobhan was keepin’ stumm

And spent most of ‘er time alone in ‘er room

Yeah, so back to Jack

There was just no stoppin’ that maniac

The mood amongst the girls was very black

With every new customer there was the threat of attack

The Old Bill were doin’ their best but drawin’ a blank

Rumour ‘ad it that ‘e was a doctor and some said ‘e was a Yank

Some said that they’d saw ‘im fleein’ from a scene

Even some suggested that ‘e were related to the Queen

It was a terrible time to be an ‘ore

Shiverin’ and shakin’ when someone new came to the door

Like the American

What an obnoxious and creepy little man

And to top it all ‘e called ‘imself Dr Tripper

Bleedin’ ‘ell, it even rhymed with Ripper

I was ‘opin’ ‘e would choose one of the other three

And I was thinkin’ that it might ‘ave been Sally McGhee

But the grim little bugger opted for me

Well, it turned out that Dr Tripper weren’t the Ripper

And ‘e weren’t even a doctor an’ all

The man liked to pretend that ‘e was on a call

For a laugh I told ‘im that I ‘ad a runny nose

But the dirty little sod still made me take off me clothes

I suppose that was to be expected

And every single orifice was thoroughly inspected

Turnin’ me this way and that way for the examination

Even for an’ ‘ore it was ‘umiliation

And when ‘e was finished with ‘is inspection

This ghastly man told me that I would need an injection

Well, it was obvious that ‘e was referrin’ to ‘is todger

And the cure for my ailment was a damn good roger

That’s what ‘e said

And told me to get off the bed

I was asked to kneel on the floor

I’d never experienced shame like this before

And I cried out loud like a novice ‘ore

Normal copulation would ‘ave been just fine

Not the bleedin’ place where the sun don’t shine!

Five long minutes of degradation

With ‘im moanin’ with pleasure from ‘is own sensation

Afterwards the bugger ‘ad the cheek

To say that ‘e’d come to see me the followin’ week

And gave me two pills in case I felt weak

Oh, sister 26. (Memoirs of Robert Brown vi)

Giles’ funeral wis a lavish affair

But most were only there because they had tae be there

Absence would’ve been a huge disgrace

An’ there wis the risk of rebuff for not showin’ yer face

It wis the scandal

The shock for many wis too much handle

Giles’ masochistic ways

Found deid in an alley wearin’ women’s claes

And what exacerbated the horror even more

Wis the design o’ the dress that he wore

The favoured fashion o’ the common whore

The women at the service were highly critical

An’ the men were indubitably hypocritical

For many were regulars at ma door

Dressin’ like whores an’ so much more

Ma presence disturbed these familiar faces

Filled them wi’ fear that ah might air their disgraces

They approached me wi’ nervous smiles

No tae engage in small talk or chat aboot Giles

But tae offer me money tae shut ma mooth

Ah rebuked the reprobates for bein’ uncouth

And promised that ma lips would remain sealed

As long as ma identity wis never revealed

Ah wis eyed wi’ curiosity by the rest o’ the set

Wonderin’ who ah was an’ what ah wis daein’ wi’ Yvette

Yvette introduced me as an auld friend o’ Giles

An’ told them that for the funeral ah’d travelled many miles

Ah wis greeted by most wi’ politeness an’ smiles

But some were indifferent and ah got the occasional frown

“That’s strange,” ah heard wan o’ them say. “Giles never mentioned Lord Robert Brown.”

It didnae matter tae me because ah knew very soon

That Robert Broon wid be the talk o’ the toon

Or should ah say, Robert Brown would be the talk of the town

Ah had tae get used tae this new way o’ speakin’

Ah couldnae risk havin’ ma secret leakin’

Accordin’ tae Yvette ah did very well

An’ any hint o’ workin’ class would’ve been impossible tae tell

Deception is what ah dae best

An’ seein’ that ah past the test

Yvette informed the rest that ah wis her guest

An’ that ah’d be stayin’ wi’ her durin’ her time o’ grievin’

No that ah wis plannin’ oan leavin’

It wis a brilliant start

An’ ah really enjoyed playin’ the part

After the service we said oor goodbyes

An’ Yvette wiped the crocodile tears fae her eyes

Oh, ah have tae mention

Before we left ah had some female attention

An’ some forthright whispers o’ wicked intention

But Yvette wis the wan ah wis interested in

An’ as soon as we got home we gave in tae sin

The desire ignited as soon as we kissed

An’ ah realised that it wis somethin’ that ah sorely missed