The theft of
our hard earned money left all of us sour
But we were
goin’ to show Robert that we had the power
Sally was
the best choice as she was pretty and petite
And the one
most likely to fit in with the elite
Her Belfast
brogue was a bit strong
But proper
elocution didn’t take long
Arranged by
her husband to be
Lord
Montgomery
All of us
were impressed with the new Sally McGhee
Or soon to
be
Lady Montgomery
Wife of Hugh
The first
name of the man that got his jollies from a shoe
She even
changed her first name too
She told us
that she needed somethin’ new
Somethin’
more appropriate for the snooty crew
Hugh
suggested Prudence but she preferred Pru
Prudence or
Pru Montgomery
A lot more
high society than Sally McGhee
As it got
closer to the weddin’ we were all excited
The cream of
London town were all invited
And that
included Robert and Yvette
Hugh was one
of the few that Robert hadn’t met
And unknown
to the rest of us as he was Sally’s pet
She told us that
he visited her once or twice a week
And round
the back and through her window he liked to sneak
In order to
avoid meetin’ one of his kind
He just
required privacy and a place to unwind
The weddin’
took place at the Lord’s lovely manor
We weren’t
guests but I got to be planner
Brought
about by Sally’s persuasion
Montgomery
even bought our clothes for the occasion
Sally made
the most beautiful bride
And
Montgomery’s face was beamin’ with pride
We could
only observe from the side
But later on
Sally did confide
How Robert
reacted at the very first glance
As moments
afterwards he asked her to dance
And stared
in shock and surprise
Recognition
when he looked at her eyes
“What dae ye think ye’re daein’?” he asked her
as they took to the floor. “Ye’re nothin’ but a silly wee whore.”
“And you are
so much more?” she replied. “Oh, Robert, you are such a bore.”
“Och, drop
the snooty act,” he told her. “Yer pronunciation is no quite exact. And these
lot here might be friendly an’ pleasant, but if they were tae find oot that
ye’re jist a wee Irish peasant.”
“Do what ye
have to do,” she told him. “They’d believe Lord Montgomery rather than you.”
“Let’s call
a truce,” he said. “Noo that ye’re part o’ the elite, ye might have a use.”
“Oh, you are
so kind,” she responded. “What do you have in mind?”
“Less o’ the
sarcasm for a start,” he said irritably. “Ah won’t be talked down tae by a
jumped up wee tart.”
“Whatever ye
have in mind, the answer is no,” she said. “But I might reconsider if ye pay
back the money ye owe.”
“What
money?” he asked. “Ah don’t know what ye mean.”
“Ye know
fine well what I mean,” she said. “Stealin’ from whores is not only wrong, it’s
bloody obscene.”
“But ah
never stole fae you or the others,” he told her. “Ah swear oan ma mother’s life
an’ ma brother’s.”
“Oh, how low
you have descended,” she said to him as the music abruptly ended.
“If ah
wanted tae steal, ah’d have done it before,” he said as they left the floor.
“Lies, all
lies, I don’t want to hear anymore,” she told him. “Now, if you’ll excuse me,
I’ve got to get back to the one that I adore.”
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