Oh, sister 33. (Memoirs of Siobhan MacGeary vii)

At first I thought that I was dreamin’

When I heard our Nancy screamin’

“It’s the Ripper, it’s Jack!”

It was enough to give someone a heart attack

Nerys and I ran out but he’d already run out the door

That man had put terror into every single whore

Nerys had to grip her

As she wouldn’t stop screamin’, “It were ‘im. The knickers thief is the Ripper!”

“Calm down, he’s gone!” Nerys yelled at her. “The only ones here are me and Siobhan!”

“But ‘e were ‘ere!” she sobbed and trembled with fear.

We hadn’t had any other customers that night

But Nancy’s revelation sure gave us a fright

It was beyond belief

That evil such as he could also be a thief

With all those tales of his murders and the inevitable rumours

Never had it been said that he had a thing for bloomers

Perhaps it was somethin’ that the newspapers failed to relay

Because the public may not have believed what they had to say

People would accept the gruesome death of a whore

And some would be fascinated with the grisly gore

But in Victorian times they were so naïve

And a knickers sniffin’ madman they’d find hard to believe

Ye can understand that we were all extremely shocked

And from then on we were vigilant and kept the door locked

Robert’s departure left Nerys in charge

But the evil Ripper was still at large

And such was the trepidation he managed to arouse

We needed protection from him and the average louse

We were reluctant to admit that we needed a man in the house

But immediately we began to advertise

We need someone tough and of incredible size

For days after that there were very long queues

And after many long and tedious interviews

The other two weren’t decided on whom to choose

It was me that suggested that we hire Dean

He was by far the biggest man that we’d ever seen

Big broad shoulders and seemed very keen

We told him that he’d have to work for very little pay

But would make sure that he got three meals a day

Things went well for a while

He was very pleasant and always had a smile

Until one day he stole a bottle of gin

And that smile turned into a mischievous grin

Makin’ us rue our decision to let him in

The man had a problem with drink

It’s not what you think

Dean didn’t become mean

But his drunken behaviour was quite obscene

As he had it in his head that he was the Queen

Aye, Victoria

And played the role with great euphoria

Nerys was not impressed

As it was in her favourite black dress that he was dressed

I suppose he thought it’d be right for the part

But he came across more like the world’s ugliest tart

Extremely boozed

Constantly natterin’, “I am not amused!”