It was
Yvette that broke the news tae me
Aboot
Montgomery and Sally McGhee
He even
insisted that she had an affair wi’ me
The story
spread quickly through London’s high society
Causin’ poor
Yvette much anxiety
Because
gossipin’ in their world often lingers
Accompanied
wi’ sneers an’ pointed fingers
There was
nae point in tryin’ tae deny the accusation
It would
have jist provoked more aggravation
Most never
knew him for the deviant he was
And his
close knit friends seemed tae relish his cause
It wis
rumoured that once he’d had tea wi’ the Queen
So naebody
wid believe that the man could be obscene
The only
thing ah could dae wis take it oan the chin
This wee
skirmish ah’d never win
Ah decided a
wee visit widnae dae any harm
But the idea
caused Yvette much alarm
“Robert,
what good could it possible do?” she cried. “You’re not going to get an apology
from Hugh.”
“The man’s
got a cheek,” ah said. “If ah don’t go see him it’ll look like ah’m weak.”
“Oh, that
foolish male pride!” she moaned. “No one will think that you’re trying to hide.
Some things in life we have to ignore.”
Ah didnae
agree and walked oot the door
On arrival
at Montgomery’s the butler let me in
I wis led
tae the drawin’ room an’ offered some gin
Ah shook ma
head
An’ told him
tae pour me a whisky instead
It wis a
while before Montgomery came through
“Hello,
Robert,” he greeted. “What can I do for you?”
He seemed
pleased to see me an’ stuck oot his hand
Ah refused
it an’ said, “Ah’m sure ye understand.”
“Oh, come
now, Robert. Don’t be sore,” he said. “I had to think of something as she was
beginning to bore.”
“Well, yer
private life is yer own, so stay oot o’ mine,” ah said tae him. “Stick tae that
an’ we’ll baith be fine.”
“Dear chap,
do I take that as a threat?” he asked. “That would be something you’ll deeply
regret.”
“Well, ye’ll
find that ah give as good as ah get,” ah told him. “Jist stay away fae me an’
Yvette.”
His facial
expression turned to a sneer. “She is such a dear. Does she know that you are
here?”
“Naw, she
disnae,” ah lied. “The poor wee lassie is petrified.”
"Then
for her sake walk out the door,” he snarled. “I may still require her services
like that of a whore.”
“Never again
will ye go that far!” ah yelled. “Wan o’ these days ye’ll be exposed for the
coward ye are!”
Jist then
Nancy came through
And said to
Montgomery, “I do ‘ope ‘e ain’t insultin’ you.”
“There’s
nothing to worry about, my pretty little one,” he said. “Go and get Jeeves and
let’s have a little fun.”
In anger ah
headed for the door
There wis a
time ah fancied that Cockney wee whore
But no more
But it added
tae ma frustration
How easily he
won people by intimidation
Ah wis
determined tae make that cease
And ah wis
helped by a wee visit fae Nerys
Givin’ me
the truth aboot Nancy
Her thievery
and who she really did fancy
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