Thursday, 2 June 2016

Oh, sister 29. (Memoirs of Sally McGhee vi)

I’d been wonderin’ what was wrong with Miss MacGeary
Sittin’ in her room withdrawn and weary
But when she came home one day sad and teary
I couldn’t help but ask her, “What’s up, dearie?”
She threw her arms around me and instantly broke down
And babbled about the rich cow and Robert Brown
I must admit I hadn’t been aware
That Siobhan and the woman had been havin’ an affair
Affairs like these were mostly kept quiet
And few had the courage to even try it
Certainly not me
That kind o’ thing wasn’t for Sally McGhee
But there was no gettin’ away from the fact she’d been mistreated
And no wonder the poor lass was forlorn and defeated
That blasted Robert Brown
After a while he stopped comin’ aroun’
And that had nothin’ to with the treatment o’ Siobhan
It was the fact that all our money had gone
It wasn’t in the place where we usually kept
But that rotten scoundrel was very adept
And must have sneaked in while all o’ us slept
I suppose we only had ourselves to blame
All o’ us knew that the man had no shame
But we were determined to play the same game
And show the bugger that we could be just as shady 
And the first thing we were going to do was make me a lady
It was me that they chose
Because o’ my lovely shoes and fancy clothes
And to those two that made that wonderful donation
The time was ripe for some more manipulation
But who to choose
The one that wears the dresses or the one that sniffs the shoes
Remember when I was dreamin’ like a silly wee whore?
Wonderin’ if one o’ them would come through the door
And say, “Sally McGhee, will you marry me?”
Well, now I had to plant that seed
And find out which one had the greatest need
Which one would react with abject dismay
If I tearfully told them I was goin’ away
I had an idea that it’d be the one that had a fixation with shoes
He’d be so much easier to use and abuse
And I was right
He was dreadfully distraught when I told him one night
 “I cannot abide this life anymore,” I told him. “There is more to life than bein’ a whore. I need to be free and find someone who will marry me.”
“Please don’t do this, you’re all that I’ve got,” he sobbed. “Tell me that you’ll give it a little more thought.”  
“It is not my intention to be unkind,” I said. “I have given it thought and I’ve made up my mind.”
That’s when he got down on one knee
“My darling little whore, I can offer you more,” he said. “Please will you marry me?”
“Alas,” I said to him. “We are chalk and cheese.”
“It doesn’t matter to me, my little sweet pea,” he responded. “Just marry me, please!”
I couldn’t let my excitement show
So I just shrugged my shoulders and said, “Oh, I don’t know.”
“I promise to teach you all you’ll need to know,” he cried. “Just marry me and say that you won’t go.”  
“I’m going to need a few days to decide what I want to do,” I responded. “But in the meantime, may I offer you my shoe?”

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