Oh, sister 31. (Memoirs of Robert Brown vii)

Ah’d been lookin’ forward tae Lord Montgomery’s weddin’

But it wis an event that Yvette wis completely dreadin’

“We have tae go,” ah said tae her. “Jist think o’ how many people ah could get tae know.”

“We have no choice but to go,” she said. “I shudder to think what might happen if I failed to show.”

Ah wisnae sure what she meant

But somethin’ told me that she feared this gent

It wis only some silly event

Yet it seemed that non-attendance posed a threat

An’ seein’ that me an’ His Lordship had never met

Ah tried tae get a wee bit more fae Yvette

But she wis sayin’ no more

Jist the mention o’ his name shook her tae the core

Oan the way tae the weddin’ she trembled wi’ fear

Exacerbated more as the carriage got near

It wis obvious that this man had clout

An’ ah wis determined tae discover what he wis really about

But there wis a wee distraction

When ma eyes caught sight o’ the main attraction

Ah thought, ‘His Lordship certainly has taste’

There wis nae time tae waste

Ah had tae take a chance

An’ ask the dainty lady if she’d care tae dance

Ye can imagine what a shock it wis for me

When ah looked at her eyes and saw Sally McGhee

Dressed like that she wisnae easy tae recognise

Nae wonder ah got a surprise

She looked like a lady o’ grace 

And that harsh Belfast brogue there wis hardly a trace

Since ah’d never met His Lordship before

Ah wondered how he came tae meet the connivin’ wee whore

Immediately ah started thinkin’ how she could be utilised

But she wis no havin’ any o’ it an’ ah wis promptly chastised

And accused o’ theft

Ah hadnae been near the hoose since the day that ah left

Ah let Sally go an’ went back tae Yvette

“Darling,” ah said to her as she wis chattin’ wi’ friends. “I do think that it’s time His Lordship and I met.”

Immediately she began tae fret

Her enormous fear ah jist didnae get

Eventually ah wis introduced by her friend Harriette

“Ah, Lord Brown,” he said as he shook ma hand. “How is the lovely Yvette?”

“She is very well, sir,” wis aw ah could say.

His pleasant manner changed when Harriette walked away

“Both of us know that you’re nothing more than a fake,” he said. “And if you are planning to go against me it will be a huge mistake.”

“Sir, I can assure you that is not my intention at all,” ah told him. “I’m just hoping that for me fame and fortune will befall.”

“Then your secret is safe with me,” he said. “I assume that you recognised Sally McGhee.”

“Yes,” ah answered. “It’s strange that I’ve never met you before.”

He laughed and said, “That’s because I never entered through the front door.”

“Sir, I do hope a friendship can ensue,” ah said. “Maybe you can advise me on what to do, and please don’t hesitate to ask if there is something that I can do for you.”

“Call me Hugh,” he said. “To start with you can ask Yvette to lend me a shoe.”