Thursday, 23 June 2016

Oh, sister 33. (Memoirs of Siobhan MacGeary vii)

At first I thought that I was dreamin’
When I heard our Nancy screamin’
“It’s the Ripper, it’s Jack!”
It was enough to give someone a heart attack
Nerys and I ran out but he’d already run out the door
That man had put terror into every single whore
Nerys had to grip her
As she wouldn’t stop screamin’, “It were ‘im. The knickers thief is the Ripper!”
“Calm down, he’s gone!” Nerys yelled at her. “The only ones here are me and Siobhan!”
“But ‘e were ‘ere!” she sobbed and trembled with fear.
We hadn’t had any other customers that night
But Nancy’s revelation sure gave us a fright
It was beyond belief
That evil such as he could also be a thief
With all those tales of his murders and the inevitable rumours
Never had it been said that he had a thing for bloomers
Perhaps it was somethin’ that the newspapers failed to relay
Because the public may not have believed what they had to say
People would accept the gruesome death of a whore
And some would be fascinated with the grisly gore
But in Victorian times they were so naïve
And a knickers sniffin’ madman they’d find hard to believe
Ye can understand that we were all extremely shocked
And from then on we were vigilant and kept the door locked
Robert’s departure left Nerys in charge
But the evil Ripper was still at large
And such was the trepidation he managed to arouse
We needed protection from him and the average louse
We were reluctant to admit that we needed a man in the house
But immediately we began to advertise
We need someone tough and of incredible size
For days after that there were very long queues
And after many long and tedious interviews
The other two weren’t decided on whom to choose
It was me that suggested that we hire Dean
He was by far the biggest man that we’d ever seen
Big broad shoulders and seemed very keen
We told him that he’d have to work for very little pay
But would make sure that he got three meals a day
Things went well for a while
He was very pleasant and always had a smile
Until one day he stole a bottle of gin
And that smile turned into a mischievous grin
Makin’ us rue our decision to let him in
The man had a problem with drink
It’s not what you think
Dean didn’t become mean
But his drunken behaviour was quite obscene
As he had it in his head that he was the Queen
Aye, Victoria
And played the role with great euphoria
Nerys was not impressed
As it was in her favourite black dress that he was dressed
I suppose he thought it’d be right for the part
But he came across more like the world’s ugliest tart
Extremely boozed
Constantly natterin’, “I am not amused!”

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