Thursday, 10 March 2016

Oh, sister 3 . (Memoirs of Siobhan MacGeary i)

My name is Siobhan MacGeary
And the life I’ve had has been far from dreary
I hail from Eire’s Donegal
And the power o’ femininity I learned from small
The power to sway and get my own way
Sugar and spice
But not so nice
A little sweetness was on offer
But for a very high price
They love to make noise
Tryin’ to act tough
But the sight o’ me in the buff was enough
To bring them to their knees
Beggin’ me please
Oh, how I loved to tease
Puberty was a blessin’ for me
I ripened very quickly, ye see
Into a pretty and curvaceous lass
Whistles from the boys when they saw me pass
Some sassy remarks of wicked intention
Each one tryin’ to get my attention
This went on for months on end
And it started to drive me around the bend
I suppose when I think o’ it
It was a shame
It wasn’t their fault
Hormones were to blame
A challenge was set
They had to give in order to get
Fight for the right to have a little piece of me
And also pay a generous fee
Sixteen shillin’s was what I required
For that the winner could have what he desired
The challenge was accepted
They were quick to decide
I knew they would
It was a matter of male pride
For weeks they were all well behaved
Each one wanted to win
And the money had to be saved
Eventually the day came and they battled it out
And Sean Malone won every bout
I stuck to the agreement but he didn’t get much
For sixteen shillin’s I allowed him to touch
But before he could kick up a storm
I warned him that I’d tell everyone that he couldn’t perform
That did the trick
He can only blame himself for thinkin’ with his…
You know what I mean
That appendage that makes all of them tick
Well, that was the first time I struck it rich
And that wee triumph was what made me a bitch
Little Siobhan
Learned to con
Decided to move to London to see what was goin’ on
That’s where I met Sally McGhee
In that wonderful den o’ iniquity
Northern Irish was she
She was the one that came up to me
“How would ye like to get off the street?” she asked. “If ye don’t yer morale will begin to deplete.”
“Aye,” I replied. “But a girl has to work if a girl wants to eat.”
“With me ye’ll do more than make ends meet,” she told me. “Men pay me just to kiss my feet.”

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