Monday, 14 September 2015

Oh, brother (part 15) by Grant Harbison

The onset of winter precipitated torrential rain
And reluctance from the monks for the mundane bane
It also saw the arrival of a strapping young swain
A garrulous monk called Brother Blaine
An amiable chap with a permanent smile
Who sailed on a coracle from the Emerald Isle
He worked extremely hard and never seemed to tire
And even took charge of the monastery choir
Those were his good qualities and something to admire
But lurking underneath was a beast so dire
And consumption of alcohol was like fuel on fire
Even one little sip was enough to make him flip
And much to everyone’s dismay
Every night he caused an affray
Bashing anyone who got in his way
It had started one night in the ‘Goblet and Grail’
A quaint little pub that served fine ale
The monks had been drinking and telling funny tales
When Blaine had walked in and downed two pails
Seconds later he’d gone off the rails
And bedlam had ensued with shrieks and wails
Making sounds like an angry bear
He’d smashed up every table and chair
Tore off his robe and pulled on his hair
And with flaring nostrils and a wild eyed stare
He’d yelled, “Come and get me, if you dare!”
None of the monks had wanted the strife
Through absolute terror and risk of life
Then all of a sudden his nature had turned mild
And he’d fallen to the floor and cried like a child

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