So Robert
and Yvette were plannin’ to wed
But I was
the one that would be sharin’ her bed
Well, as
soon as Giles was bumped off
I still
wonder what she saw in that dreadful little toff
Prominence I
suppose
More
important than love to a toffee nose
He was a pompous
swine
And that
girly giggle and nasal whine
It was
enough to drive ye insane
Payment was
a bonus for inflictin’ pain
But I never
wished him dead
Especially
not naked in my bloody bed
A heart
attack
It happened
after I’d given him his umpteenth whack
His time was
up and he was about to get dressed
When
suddenly he cried and held his chest
Staggered
backwards and fell on the bed
From the
look o’ his eyes I could tell that he was dead
I can tell
ye that I was in a state o’ disarray
I was still
a bit shaky from the one the other day
I screamed
for Robert as I didn’t know what else to do
Seconds
later he came runnin’ through
“I think he’s
dead,” I said with utter dread.
Robert went to
look at him on the bed and nodded his head. “Aye, deid withoot havin’ tae bleed.
This is very good news indeed. At least ah don’t have tae dae the grisly deed.”
I began to
fret. “Oh, Robert, what are we goin’ to tell Yvette?”
“Don’t you
worry, pet,” he said. “Ah’ll go an’ get Yvette. Ah’m sure she’ll no be that
upset.”
“Do you have
to go alone?” I asked. “I don’t fancy stayin’ here on my own.”
Before he
left he kissed my cheek. “Ah better hurry,” he said. “It’ll no be long until he
starts tae reek.”
He returned
with Yvette within the hour
“Oh,
Siobhan!” she cried. “Do not worry, my little flower.”
“Time tae
get rid o’ the stiff,” Robert said. “Ah don’t want the hoose tae have a whiff.”
“Yes, there
is little time for chat,” Yvette concurred. “Tell me, Robert, how are you going
to do that?”
“He’s no too
big an’ he’s no too fat,” Robert responded. “Siobhan, ah’ll need a dress an’
shoes an’ a wide brimmed hat.”
“Robert, I
don’t understand,” said Yvette. “What exactly do you have planned?”
“We’re goin’
tae expose his secret life,” Robert replied. “An’ you’ll get tae play the
flabbergasted wife.”
“You mean to
tell me that he’s going to be found?” cried Yvette. “Do you know how quickly
word will get around?”
“Aye, don’t
ye see?” Robert said. “That can only be good for me. We could wed immediately
withoot raisin’ suspicion an’ ah can get started wi’ securin’ ma ambition.”
With the
help o’ the undertaker we got the body away
And dumped
him in a nearby alleyway
We dressed
him in a bright pink gown
And the
followin’ day it was the talk o’ the town
Very soon
we’d all be free
As long as
we kept it secret from the other three
The one that
worried me the most was Nerys
She still hadn’t asked for money to hold her
peace
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