Sunday, 17 January 2016

Oh, brother (part 72) by Grant Harbison


“Dinnae worry, all will be well,” Deplorium told Truman and Borium as they waited anxiously in an underground cell.
“How can you be so at ease?” asked Borium. “And for goodness sake, Truman, would you stop that incessant jabbering and get off your knees!”
“There nothin’ tae worry aboot,” replied Deplorium. “Hamish will be arrested when they find the loot.”
Truman stopped his babbling and began to cry
“You betrayed a friend, Deplorium,” said Borium. “Why?”
“In a case like this ye have tae be sly. Or would ye prefer it if we were tae die?”
“Prepare to draw your last breath!” howled Truman. “Repent before impending death!”
“Borium, slap his face!” yelled Deplorium. “He’s gettin’ oan ma wick!”
Just then they heard a click
All three swallowed hard and wanted to be sick
“You lot look like ye’ve seen a ghost,” the guard chuckled. “Dinnae worry, ye’re no gonnae roast. The laird wants tae see you three. Between you an’ me, it looks like ye’re gonnae be set free.”
A little while later they stood in front of the laird
“Ye don’t look very scared,” he said. “Ah hope the guard didnae mention that ye’re gonnae be spared.”
“News like that ah don’t think he would’ve dared shared,” responded Deplorium. “Conditions wurnae great underneath. So ye could say it’s relief.”
“Well, much tae ma surprise, ye spoke the truth for a change. No yer usual lies.”
“Ah’m assumin’ ye got yer man.”
“Aye. Ah never would’ve guessed it wis Hamish MacCann.”
“It jist goes tae show. Even people ye ken can sink really low. Yer Lairdship, are we free tae go?”
“Aye, get oot o’ ma sight. Ah’ve got tae sort oot MacCann’s  execution before the end o’ light. Ah’ll be keepin’ a close eye oan you, Deplorium. You and the Sassenachs…”
“Truman an’ Borium.”
Each of them got a glimpse of the laird’s hound as they were leaving the manor ground
Borium’s heart began to pound. “If that gets loose from the enclosure I don’t want to be around.”
“Homeward bound!” hollered Truman. “Oh, how good it feels to be safe and sound!”
“Truman, you really did despair in there,” said Borium. “Wouldn’t you agree, Deplorium?”
Deplorium wasn’t listening to anything that was said
He had other things going around in his head
The next job and who to rob

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